Paul Bunyan’s Fucking Arcade

If Paul Bunyan made a MAME cabinet, it would probably look like this knotty pine monstrosity.

Now, clearly, this man knows his way around a table saw and is clever enough to refine the wood edges and he even sealed it with a wonderful, honey-colored poly. It would be a work of art if it was a FUCKING PIECE OF FURNITURE. Hint: it’s not, it’s an arcade cabinet.

It’s too big — sucks up an entire wall. The wood just doesn’t fit the aesthetic of an arcade machine. But, hey, it’s well made so that makes it a well-made ugly piece of shit.

Congratulations, Paul. First we have fires burning down the Amazon forest then we’ve got you deforesting the Jersey pine barrens to build this thing.

I’m not even going to discuss the obnoxious, mis-spaced USB ports and the abso-fucking-lutely pointless makeup mirror lights over the AOC computer monitor.

“Winner don’t use drugs” because when they do, they build shit like this.